Meg Baier

Back in the early 2000’s it was a favorite pastime of my friend Tara and I to drive out to Laguna Beach and busk.  We had found a hallway that branched off of the main thoroughfare - it created a beautiful natural reverb and amplification of the music.  We’d leave out the guitar case, throw in a few bucks to “spike the jar” as they say, and start singing and playing as low-key browsers walked in and out of shops and restaurants.  We had a few very memorable experiences - one time a lovely woman brought us both coffees as it was a cold winter night.  We were once invited into one of the bars to play inside for a company party.  We played three songs and as we walked out a gentleman handed us a stack of cash.  We put it in our pockets and waited until we were back at the car to count it.  It was a few hundred bucks!  Which was a goldmine for us at the time…I swear we thought we’d made it right then and there.  But the most memorable night was when we first met Renato.  He had followed the echoey sounds of our harmonies and found us in the hallway.  He listened for a while and then introduced himself.  

He told us that he liked our sound, that he thought we were talented and wanted to help us to achieve our goals in music.  We wanted to get signed to a record label, make an amazing album and tour with it.  We wanted music to be our job and our career.  We were passionate and motivated and became ecstatic at the thought of someone actually helping us!  He said he had connections…claimed that Eric Clapton was the godfather to his daughter.  He was the inventor of a special kind of electric guitar, called “Giordano Guitars”.  We believed him and dove enthusiastically into a relationship between talent and management.  

The first thing he did for us was get us set up with a PA system and gifted a beautiful guitar to each of us.  (Tara sold hers years later but I still have my kelly green Giordano…) That way we were prepared to start playing gigs, which we did.  We played at an Italian restaurant in Costa Mesa.  We would get treated like royalty and get to eat and drink for free.  Renato would always tell us that the chef was preparing something special for us…and we’d end the night with a warm meal and shots of grappa.  We had a few people that came out just to see us every gig, as they were becoming fans.  We also would have to turn down the volume for large parties that were trying to talk and our music was in the way of their good time.  It’s always a tough balance to get right - loud enough to be heard but not so loud to turn people away.  (For me, I’ve always taken it way too personally when I’m asked to turn it down.  A flaw I’m still working on to this day as it still happens…)  He also had us do some recording.  We drove out to a tiny trailer park in some beach town I’ve forgotten now and recorded a few songs for a demo.  We would have meetings at random Italian restaurants all over LA.  He would never make us pay, always spoiled us, and promised us great things, like gigs at bigger venues, and that he was going to share our music with some big hitters.  

After several months of this, Renato presented us with contracts.  He asked that we look them over and sign them.  We were so terrified of signing away our lives, that we enlisted a lawyer friend of ours to go over it with a fine tooth comb.  We underlined, highlighted and crossed things out.  We proposed the revisions.  It was one of those contracts where he would own a high percentage of our music and also any other endeavors we did outside of music.  Unable to agree on terms, Tara and I never did sign those papers.  

Tara was the first to remove herself from the deal.  We were beginning to drift apart in both our personal and musical lives, and the insecurities and fears we had around Renato eventually led to her dismissing herself.  There was something shady about him that we could never quite put our finger on.  He had a best friend that was always around, and that guy had a super long pinky nail.  We were sure that meant that Renato and him were in the Italian mafia, selling cocaine and up to nefarious business deals.  The promises he made never came to fruition, so it wasn’t a surprise that Tara left.  

I continued to work with him as a solo artist for a bit, but still had my suspicions, which eventually got the best of me.  I moved to Sedona, AZ and stopped returning his phone calls.

Funnily enough, one of the guitar players that was sponsored by “Giordano” guitars and also receiving help from Renato, Anthony Mozella, lived in Sedona.  When I ultimately met Anthony and had the opportunity to tell him I was also connected to Renato, I asked him what Renato’s deal was…was he in the mafia?  A cocaine addict?  Was he a big liar?  Anthony sheepishly said, no.  According to him, Renato was just a well-meaning guy that was trying to get his big break by discovering musical talent.  There was nothing nefarious.  No Mafia.  In fact , Anthony got a pretty good laugh out of my concerns. 

I felt really bad that I let unverified assumptions color the way I viewed Renato.  At the end of the day, it was very kind of him to step in and help us, and he was very generous and supportive.  In the end it was just another part of the real stories of the almost famous…anyhoo…

Playing Bass in a band in Croatia

By Meg Baier

In the winter of 2001, my entire life changed.  As this blog is about my time in Croatia, I will not dwell on this tragedy, but it was the propeller for a lot of decisions I made over the next few years.  My mother decided to leave our family after 24 years.  (More on that another time) I was dealing with grief on a level I could have never imagined.  I learned that when deep in the throes of grief, one does not eat or sleep normally.  I lost weight without trying because I was so ill I couldn’t eat.  I almost quit school.  At the time I was taking low level required courses at Pasadena City College.  I cannot believe I passed statistics that semester as I was a complete and total wreck.  I was also attending a Foursquare Church at the time where I sang and sometimes played bass for the college worship team.  

The Foursquare Church College Group announced that they would be going on a trip that summer to Croatia.   Foursquare Churches across Europe were gathering in Pula, Croatia for a week-long camp intended to unite countries all across Europe.  We, the Americans, were tasked with attending as hosts.  Our church in particular was tasked with leading the activities.  In order to attend this trip, one needed to pay about $1200.  Knowing that my family could not afford to help me with the fee, and that I desperately needed to go on this trip, I decided to try and raise the money myself.  I did this by using one of the only unique skills I have, which is playing music.  

At the time, I worked at a coffee shop in uptown Whittier called “Samantha’s Courtyard”.  I was a customer before I worked there.  I discovered chai lattes and their adorable courtyard.  I worked it out with them to have a fundraiser for the trip to Croatia.  I would play a show for supportive folks and ask for tips to help send me on the exciting mission trip.  

The fundraising concert was a success!  The courtyard was filled with family and friends, all attentive listeners to about an hour's worth of original music and speeches about our mission in Croatia.  Attendees were generous tippers and I made about $1,000.  One thing I remember about that concert was that I was at peak thinness from the trauma of the divorce.  I felt very cool and hot in my black leather pants and sparkly green sparkly one shoulder tank.  It has always been the case with my body type, that the only times in my life that I feel I am “thin enough” to be beautiful, are times following extreme heartbreak.  Go figure.

 So I signed up for the trip, paid my dues, and prepared for my first overseas adventure at 21 years old.  When we took off from LAX I had the same status as everyone else.  Just helping to run activities like water balloon basketball and capture the flag.  But when we were at the Newark airport during our layover, waiting for our flight to Germany, I was approached by our group leader.  Evidently the worship band's bass player had to back out, and I was nominated by my group to fill the position.  I said yes without hesitation, but felt a bit of nerves settle into my tummy as soon as I agreed.  I had no idea what to expect playing worship songs with people I had never met from other countries, but I was excited to find out.

The experience I ended up having was out of this world amazing.  I got to play on stage twice a day with a large band of incredible musicians from all over Europe.  There were a ton of us on stage playing basic band instruments as well as violin, accordion, and more.  I believe it was 12 different countries represented on stage in the worship band, me being the only american.  I knew, and everyone else knew, that I wasn’t the best bass player associated with the camp, but I for some reason had been chosen, and I was good enough.  I felt supported and special and cool.  We got to take our own van to the worship center a few hours before the services.  We practiced and ate together and I was brought into a group of beautiful European musicians and singers.  The worship leader was a German man who was also an original artist, selling his CD at the event.  I got a free signed copy.  He had chosen the song “One” by U2 as the theme song for the event.  We played it at the end of every set.  The other songs were all in the rotation of modern worship bands at that time.  I learned that those songs were not just popular in America, but all over the world.  I also got to lead morning worship on the campground, where I played someones acoustic guitar and sang into a mic as a group of a few dozen people sang along.  

I did experience a bit of imposter syndrome.  Asking God, why did you pick me?  What did you want me to glean from this experience? After all these years I think it’s pretty cool that of all the dudes on the premises who could rip a bass line, they chose a girl from America.  And the guys who could shred didn’t even make me feel inferior.  I suppose a benefit of playing with God fearing Christians.  It would not have been cool to make me feel bad or put me down, so I was lifted up.  I’ll never forget the feeling of looking out at the hundreds of people worshiping and having such a feeling of love and inclusion.  A feeling I very rarely experience all these years later.  

Going to Croatia was a transformative experience for me.  Sparking an interest to continue to say yes to travel opportunities like that.  Which, I absolutely did, taking group trips to Costa Rica, China, and Peru.  It felt so invigorating being in a foreign country and experiencing new skies, architecture, food, culture and people.  There were many formative moments on that trip.  I woke up from an overnight bus ride and looked out my window and saw the Alps.  A group leader came aboard to bring us breakfast.  Croissants.  Mine was filled with a chocolate cream that I had never tasted - Nutella.  We were stopped in the middle of the night on that bus ride and men with guns and uniforms checked all of our passports.  We knew there was one girl who had lost her passport.  We hid her in the bathroom.  It worked.  Whew.  I swam in the Adriatic sea, shopped at a flea market in Heidelberg Germany, and visited the colosseum - the one in Pula, not Rome, but they are very similar! The highlight of the trip was by far getting to play with the worship band.  It added an element of excitement and interest that I was not expecting and that made the trip ten times more special than it already would have been. To be honest, it also started a bad habit of me thinking I would be chosen for things, and then of course, spending 20 plus years watching other people get chosen.  That was my moment.  I’m grateful for it, but it certainly was not a “one thing led to another” type of scenario where my life took off after that.  It was a one off.  It was unique, and I loved it.

Ashley Simpson Audition

In 2005 I was signed to a record label called Sedona Records.  As the name indicates, this label was based in the beautiful and mystical red rock town of Sedona, AZ.  I will tell more about that experience in a later blog, but for our purposes here we are going to focus on an audition I got through the owners of the record label.  An audition to be Ashley Simpson’s keyboard player and back-up vocalist.  

The owner of the label, who we’ll call Martin for now, had been based in Los Angeles for many years.  His claim to fame was playing trumpet on the original cast recording of Jesus Christ Superstar and being the first person to record the Red Hot Chili Peppers.  However, neither of those can be proven.  I met him in Sedona through my dad’s girlfriend at the time.  They had been friends in LA ages ago.  

I was actually planning my exit from the label when they offered up this last ditch effort to give me something of value.  An audition.  They had received word that Ashley Simpson was looking for a new keyboardist.  I believe the former keyboardist was her good friend, who had left the band to pursue her own solo career.  I was not a fan of Ashley Simpson, but I was familiar with a few of her songs, mostly through the music videos.  Back then MTV still played videos and had not fully succumbed to the lure of reality television shows.  

I said yes to the audition, which was to be held in Los Angeles.  I was asked to learn the song “Shadow” and play and sing it for her and her band as if I was the main character.  I remember driving to Cottonwood to buy the CD so I could learn the song.  The sunset on my drive back to Sedona will forever live in my head.  Was this it?  Was I about to get a chance to be a part of a band that could potentially connect me to big wigs in the music industry so I could pursue my solo career?!  My mind went wild with imagination of what the possibilities were.  It didn’t take me long to learn the piano part, and the vocal was simply a matter of memorization.  I played and sang it over and over again for a few days until I felt confident in my ability to perform it like a rockstar.  

I remember going to my girlfriend's house and looking through her wardrobe for something cool to wear.  After many different stylings my friends and I agreed upon a strapless, tight, gray striped top with a pair of Amercrombie jeans.  I was so lean at the time I could slink into anything, and I felt like hot shit in the outfit. I had booked a flight to Los Angeles where my mother picked me up.  Thanks mom.  I stayed with her in Long Beach and she drove me to the warehouse where the audition would be held.  

I walked in and was struck with how cool the space was.  There was a stage with full lighting and tech for performers to rehearse.  “Is that where I’m auditioning?”, I asked the handler.  “No, you’re gonna be back here” they said.  They took me to a small, all white room with one lonely, cheap, keyboard setup.  No microphone for vocals.  There were two dudes in there waiting for me.  Members of Ashley’s band.  The first thing they said to me after introductions was that Ashley would not be there.  Bummer.  I was told she would be there so that was disappointing.  We had about 90 seconds of chit chat before they were like, “OK, show us what you’ve got!”.  

I went over to the keyboard and played and sang “Shadow”.  The only note they gave me before I performed was to play it as if I was on stage.  They wanted to see exactly how I’d come across in a real performance.  So I belted out the song and nailed the keyboard part.  I didn’t make any mistakes.  I thought I did great, despite a tiny bit of shaking from nerves.  They guys shook my hand and said, “That was awesome, great job!”.  And I left.

We never heard back from Ashley’s people.  I remember looking out for her and her band to see who they ended up hiring, and you know what?  Ashley didn’t perform again with a band.  At least not within those next few years. (I stopped following).  It wasn’t that I wasn't hired, it was that nobody was hired.  And that’s the way it goes in this industry.  I paid for my flight, took time off work, made all the effort, and nobody even had 30 seconds to call and say they were, “Going in a different direction.”  Oh well.  

Anyhoo…

In the spring of 1998, a popular radio station in Los Angeles, Star 98.7, held a contest.  The contest claimed that the winner would be an opener for the Lilith Fair.  A Sarah Mclachlan produced music festival that lifted up female singer/songwriters and captured the essence of the late 90’s with its audacity to focus on women artists.  

The assignment was to send in a tape of your original music to the station, and they would pick 20 applicants to perform at the El Rey Theater.  After which a winner would be announced. I had just recorded some of my songs with a friend at my local church, and therefore felt excited that I could actually participate in the contest! 

I rallied my father to help me get the tape sent in to the radio station. A few weeks later I got home from school and saw a message light blinking on our answering machine.  This is one of those rare moments in life where I somehow knew that it was the radio station, and that I had been chosen for the contest.  Indeed, I was correct.  A woman whose name I no longer recall, left a message saying that I had been selected to participate in the top 20 showcase at the El Rey Theater.  A few days later they made the announcement on air at Star 98.7 - I recorded the announcement onto a cassette tape (so 90’s). Hearing my name “Megan Baier” read aloud over the airwaves was exhilarating!  Friends and family were very excited for me, and I recall feeling like perhaps it was the beginning of the story of my dreams coming true.

I remember I wore a black sparkling tank top that I had originally purchased to pair with a big shiny maroon skirt that I would wear to the school formal.  For this show, I matched it with a pair of jeans and with my guitar in its case, carried it across busy streets to get to the theater.  I stood in a line with the other artists, and an interviewer with a cameraman worked their way down the line, asking questions to the contestants.   I was so excited to be interviewed, but alas, they skipped me!  That bummed me out, but chin up, I still had to perform.

Sarah played a few songs at the beginning.  I was brought down to a waiting area near the front of the stage, and met by the woman who had left the message on our machine.  She asked, “Is your dad here?”  and I said, “Yes, he’s back there with my family”.  She said, “Oh, I would really like to talk to him - I appreciated his letter”.  I thought, letter?  I did not know that my father had written a letter to the radio station in addition to the audition tape.  She handed me a large white plastic bag full of information on ASCAP and a few other items.  Then, I was suddenly backstage and ready to go out and play, and I saw Sarah climbing a set of stairs going up to what I assume was the green room.  I then become completely parched and ask Ryan Seacrest for some water.  I heard him say, “The talent needs water”, which was the first time I had heard the term “talent” used to describe a person who is the performer.  

I sang a song I wrote called, “Figure It Out”.   A take on popular culture’s influence on women and how it makes us hold ourselves up to unattainable standards and the damage that causes.  I played second. For the rest of my life I could say I played 2 slots after Sarah Mclachlan!  The winner’s name was Tia Texada.  She was the only one of the artists that had a career already in full swing.  It was clear she had management and agents, etc.  I always found that suspicious.  There is a brief mention of her appearance at the 1998 Lilith Fair on her Wikipedia page.  

I still do not know what my dad said in that letter…I am so grateful to have a father who will go above and beyond for me.  His letter gave me the opportunity to be one of twenty people chosen for this contest out of thousands.  I still have the call sheet and will always have the memory of coming home that day to a blinking light on the message machine, and thinking, “this is it!”.  I wish I could have played the Lilith Fair back then - how cool would that story have been!  Currently, my cover song act is called “Lilith Fairy”, as I continue to love and respect so many of the artists that graced the stage at the Lilith Fair. I attended with my mother in 1997 and saw Tracy, Jewel, Paula, Sarah, Shawn, Sheryl, and so many more.  

Anyhoo…

American Idol Audition 2002

The first audition was at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, CA. Me and my friend Eulis from music school went together to take a chance on our “big break”.  We were two of thousands of people waiting in line to be heard and hopefully chosen for the show. The energy in the line was buzzing! People singing their hearts out, dance circles and chants. We saw Ryan Seacrest as he went into the stadium and I yelled, “I love you Ryan!”

We eventually made it onto the field where a line of about a dozen interns stood - using their thumbs to let auditioning singers know if they were excused or invited to the second audition. After ten seconds of singing, right thumb over the shoulder meant, go get info for the next audition, and left thumb over the shoulder meant goodbye.

Both Eulis and I got right thumbs and went to get info for the next audition - which was the next day at a hotel in LA.

At that audition we got numbers, like marathon runners.  We were put into groups of five and called into a small room with three people at a table- the next tier of judges, perhaps low level producers or high level interns.

For me, the second audition at the hotel was disappointing. I belted out Jewel’s “Foolish Games” for the second time. My gaze shifted away from the judges and into the corner of the room. One of the judges followed my eyes to the corner, made a face, and wrote something down. Out of the five of us in the room only one got the green slip. The guy who wore a fedora and did dance moves with spins and hat tricks.

After 2 days of being around the other singers auditioning, it became apparent to us who the great singers were and who was most likely to be sent home for lack of talent. To our great surprise, we saw many participants leave with green slips (invites to the third audition) that were clearly not qualified, and singers with mad chops cried in the bathroom because they were not selected.  It was a lesson in what the industry is about - entertainment. American Idol is not a real contest it’s a TV show. The folks you saw on there who were torn apart by Simon and clearly not good singers, were there to be made fun of and provide a good laugh and entertainment for the average American. Sad really.

To the best of my recollection, the third audition was with higher up producers and you didn’t actually get into the room with the TV judges, cameras and all, until  the fourth audition. It appears on the show as though everyone waiting at the Rose Bowl met Paula and Randy and Simon. Not so. 

Although there are a few successful graduates of that show, how many American Idol winners can you name from the last 5 years? Not even Kelly Clarkson could name one in a recent interview.

Anyhoo…