Playing Bass in a band in Croatia
By Meg Baier
In the winter of 2001, my entire life changed. As this blog is about my time in Croatia, I will not dwell on this tragedy, but it was the propeller for a lot of decisions I made over the next few years. My mother decided to leave our family after 24 years. (More on that another time) I was dealing with grief on a level I could have never imagined. I learned that when deep in the throes of grief, one does not eat or sleep normally. I lost weight without trying because I was so ill I couldn’t eat. I almost quit school. At the time I was taking low level required courses at Pasadena City College. I cannot believe I passed statistics that semester as I was a complete and total wreck. I was also attending a Foursquare Church at the time where I sang and sometimes played bass for the college worship team.
The Foursquare Church College Group announced that they would be going on a trip that summer to Croatia. Foursquare Churches across Europe were gathering in Pula, Croatia for a week-long camp intended to unite countries all across Europe. We, the Americans, were tasked with attending as hosts. Our church in particular was tasked with leading the activities. In order to attend this trip, one needed to pay about $1200. Knowing that my family could not afford to help me with the fee, and that I desperately needed to go on this trip, I decided to try and raise the money myself. I did this by using one of the only unique skills I have, which is playing music.
At the time, I worked at a coffee shop in uptown Whittier called “Samantha’s Courtyard”. I was a customer before I worked there. I discovered chai lattes and their adorable courtyard. I worked it out with them to have a fundraiser for the trip to Croatia. I would play a show for supportive folks and ask for tips to help send me on the exciting mission trip.
The fundraising concert was a success! The courtyard was filled with family and friends, all attentive listeners to about an hour's worth of original music and speeches about our mission in Croatia. Attendees were generous tippers and I made about $1,000. One thing I remember about that concert was that I was at peak thinness from the trauma of the divorce. I felt very cool and hot in my black leather pants and sparkly green sparkly one shoulder tank. It has always been the case with my body type, that the only times in my life that I feel I am “thin enough” to be beautiful, are times following extreme heartbreak. Go figure.
So I signed up for the trip, paid my dues, and prepared for my first overseas adventure at 21 years old. When we took off from LAX I had the same status as everyone else. Just helping to run activities like water balloon basketball and capture the flag. But when we were at the Newark airport during our layover, waiting for our flight to Germany, I was approached by our group leader. Evidently the worship band's bass player had to back out, and I was nominated by my group to fill the position. I said yes without hesitation, but felt a bit of nerves settle into my tummy as soon as I agreed. I had no idea what to expect playing worship songs with people I had never met from other countries, but I was excited to find out.
The experience I ended up having was out of this world amazing. I got to play on stage twice a day with a large band of incredible musicians from all over Europe. There were a ton of us on stage playing basic band instruments as well as violin, accordion, and more. I believe it was 12 different countries represented on stage in the worship band, me being the only american. I knew, and everyone else knew, that I wasn’t the best bass player associated with the camp, but I for some reason had been chosen, and I was good enough. I felt supported and special and cool. We got to take our own van to the worship center a few hours before the services. We practiced and ate together and I was brought into a group of beautiful European musicians and singers. The worship leader was a German man who was also an original artist, selling his CD at the event. I got a free signed copy. He had chosen the song “One” by U2 as the theme song for the event. We played it at the end of every set. The other songs were all in the rotation of modern worship bands at that time. I learned that those songs were not just popular in America, but all over the world. I also got to lead morning worship on the campground, where I played someones acoustic guitar and sang into a mic as a group of a few dozen people sang along.
I did experience a bit of imposter syndrome. Asking God, why did you pick me? What did you want me to glean from this experience? After all these years I think it’s pretty cool that of all the dudes on the premises who could rip a bass line, they chose a girl from America. And the guys who could shred didn’t even make me feel inferior. I suppose a benefit of playing with God fearing Christians. It would not have been cool to make me feel bad or put me down, so I was lifted up. I’ll never forget the feeling of looking out at the hundreds of people worshiping and having such a feeling of love and inclusion. A feeling I very rarely experience all these years later.
Going to Croatia was a transformative experience for me. Sparking an interest to continue to say yes to travel opportunities like that. Which, I absolutely did, taking group trips to Costa Rica, China, and Peru. It felt so invigorating being in a foreign country and experiencing new skies, architecture, food, culture and people. There were many formative moments on that trip. I woke up from an overnight bus ride and looked out my window and saw the Alps. A group leader came aboard to bring us breakfast. Croissants. Mine was filled with a chocolate cream that I had never tasted - Nutella. We were stopped in the middle of the night on that bus ride and men with guns and uniforms checked all of our passports. We knew there was one girl who had lost her passport. We hid her in the bathroom. It worked. Whew. I swam in the Adriatic sea, shopped at a flea market in Heidelberg Germany, and visited the colosseum - the one in Pula, not Rome, but they are very similar! The highlight of the trip was by far getting to play with the worship band. It added an element of excitement and interest that I was not expecting and that made the trip ten times more special than it already would have been. To be honest, it also started a bad habit of me thinking I would be chosen for things, and then of course, spending 20 plus years watching other people get chosen. That was my moment. I’m grateful for it, but it certainly was not a “one thing led to another” type of scenario where my life took off after that. It was a one off. It was unique, and I loved it.